The table is tilted folks. You dont. Please validate my existence. Best George Carlin Quotes of All Time - LiveAbout Everybodys at the mall scratching his ass, picking his nose, taking out his credit card out of a fannie-pack, and buying a pair of sneakers with lights in them. They should be earned. Comedian George Carlin, who died Sunday of heart failure at 71, was known for an act featuring "seven dirty words" that became the focus of a Supreme Court case. It's a big club, and you ain't in it. But he wasn't always a . (But First, Answer Me This). I'm so interesting, I'm so important!'. Michael Cooney was a speechwriter for @, George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE them', National Press Club - 1999. http://www.ravendevelopers.com/blog/2013/0 Bernie Sanders: 'So the next time you hear me attacked as a socialist, remember this', Georgetown University - 2015, Jimmy Carter: 'The threat is nearly invisible in ordinary ways. Such as the PROCESS: POLITICIAN:WE HAVE TO MOVE THE PROCESS FORWARD SO WE CAN IMPLEMENT THE PROVISIONS OF THE INITIATIVE IN ORDER TO MEET THESE CHALLENGES. These people on social media, they're not your friends. Yes, all the words are quite impolite. 191 0 obj George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. Dog, Cat, Thinking. George Carlin returns to the stage in Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theater in New York City for HBO. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. And don't even get me started on the whole idea of 'friends' on social media. POLITICIAN:SERVING THE NATION. Everybody complains about politicians. No one has PROBLEMS anymore. The truth is, obedience and respect should not be granted automatically. They speak of course with great caution, because they must take care not to actually say anything. Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window). George Carlin does not need my platitudes, but I will still proffer them. Recorded on November 5, 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New York. What a great idea. Mr. GEORGE CARLIN: Here's another slogan you run into all the time "God Bless America." Once again, respectfully I say to myself what the (beep) does that mean. To learn more, check out our transcription guide or visit our transcribers forum, Comedian George Carlins take on The Ten Commandments. I say that where the military is concern the extent of a POLITICIANS insincerity can be measured by how far around the world our soldiers are stationed and whether or not any of them(POLITICIANS) can pronounce it? 160 Copy quote. Web. Reading the text, it sounds like a reasonably serious essaywell, sort of. Something is wrong here. This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. And the problem is, we're comparing our real lives to other people's highlight reels. Local elections, special elections, and mid-terms, especially. 187 0 obj Its never going to get any better, dont look for it, be happy with what youve got. They don't fall out of the sky. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? 0000002011 00000 n Youre just going to wind up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. And it's not just that social media is a distraction from real life, it's also a way of creating a false sense of connection. All day long beating you over the head in their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. Something is definitely wrong. (CLAPS, LAUGHS). 0000015151 00000 n They got you by the balls. They're not your friends. THE FOOD IS GREAT BUT PUBLIC SERVICE IS TERRIBLE. You got people spouting their opinions left and right, like they're some kind of expert on the subject. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( M o n t c l a i r S t a t e U n i v e r s i t y \n D i g i t a l C o m m o n s)/Rect[308.9844 674.625 540.0 693.375]/StructParent 1/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Everyone's taking pictures of themselves, all the time. Marc Allan: Oh, okay, good. They're your contacts. He was a frequent performer and guest host on The Tonight Show during the three-decade Johnny Carson era, and hosted the first episode of Saturday Night Live in 1975. everybody complains about politicians. That's a friend. Two reasons I dont vote: first of all, its meaningless. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. [wptabtitle]Blog[/wptabtitle][wptabcontent][/wptabcontent] Theyll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fucking place! GEORGE CARLIN: I want to tell you something about words that I think is important. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? Now theres one thing you mighta noticed I dont complain about: politicians. Anyway enjoy it while it's h. He spoke about his book "Brain Droppings" and answered questions submitted by the audience. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he. Hes right. Certainly! The only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im gunna have a little something to show for it, folks.. POLITICIAN:THERE IS NO EVIDENCE, NO ONE HAS PROVEN ANYTHING EVENTUALLY I'LL BE EXONERATED. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. It's like we're living in this weird dystopian future where everyone is constantly monitoring each other, waiting for the opportunity to pounce. e d u / e t d / 4 7 1)/Rect[72.0 131.7406 279.0264 143.4594]/StructParent 6/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Trump Follower? As I say, they're my work, they're my . ', And let's not forget the humblebrags. Now normally during peace times the politician would refer to people in the military as: POLITICIAN:OUR YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN STATIONED AROUND THE WORLD. So Ive made what i hope is a more readable version below, so this classic piece of polemical gold can be shared and understood more widely. Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? Difference. George Carlin Interview Transcription: George Carlin: This is George Carlin. 0000003901 00000 n The Secret News (News ticker sound effect), Type out all lyrics, even repeating song parts like the chorus, Lyrics should be broken down into individual lines. Because if its really just the fault of these politicians, then where are all the other bright people of conscience? We don't need that many. of American cultural paradoxes. Results like these do not belong on the rsum of a Supreme Being. POLITICIAN:WHEN HE RESPONDS TO MY INITIATIVE, I WILL REVIEW HIS RESPONSE, TAKE A POSITION AND MAKE A RECOMMENDATION. Lee did not involve himself formally in politics, but he was a symbol of diversity and the synthesis of "East" and "West." So, it may seem like stand-up comedy, but I suspect Carlin is deadly serious. Fuck em! You got people walking around bumping into each other, looking down at their phones, tweeting, Instagramming, Facebooking, like they're all little paparazzi. 4 0 obj But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. George Carlin, George Carlin - Euphemisms . STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Yeah, the public sucks! It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. They dont pass through a membrane from another reality. I just wanna put this behind me and that's an expression we hear a lot these days in all walks of lives. they're always PROCEEDING or moving forward. The more we pointed out the foolishness of our "superiors," the more they kept us down. And American English is loaded with euphemisms. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money.[6]. A person who routinely spends his days torturing the language complains; POLITICIAN:THEY TWISTED MY WORDS. George Carlin on Voting transcript | iComedyTV.com Press J to jump to the feed. What George Carlin Believed About Religion I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Hendra, a writer and comedian, talks with Rebecca . Anthony Hopkins is a pantheist-Catholic-agnostic who believes strongly in God. Thats against their interests. From his 1992 (first ever LIVE) HBO TV special "Jammin' in New York", performed in from of 6,500 people at Madison Square Gardens. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. 184 0 obj Comedian George Carlin's 'Last Words' - NPR.org So maybe maybe MAYBE, its not the politicians who suck. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. And so, with all of this in mind, folks, I offer you my revised list of the Two Commandments: THOU SHALT KEEP THY RELIGION TO THYSELF! 0000004120 00000 n They don't fall out of the sky. People just spewing their uninformed opinions and insults at each other. Fuck hope! You have owners. From Life Is Worth Losing. Besides, environmentalists don't give a shit about the planet. No contest. George Carlin on why he likes disasters and people under pressure, and why the planet is doin' just fine. George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing - English Transcript. They own you. In April 2004, he placed second on the Comedy Central list of "Top 10 Comedians of US Audiences".The first of Carlin's 14 stand-up comedy specials for HBO was filmed in 1977. Because if it is really just the fault of the politicians then where are all the other bright people of conscience? From the late 1980s, Carlin's routines focused on sociocultural criticism of American society. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. You know, in the old days, if you wanted to share your opinion with someone, you had to look them in the eye and say it to their face. Thank you. We dont have people like that in this country. Save the planet, we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. And not that you can help it, I mean the problem is really with the people you cover. You know, those posts that pretend to be modest, but really they're just a way of showing off. His political commentary was scathing and on par with any of the greats, Pryor, Chappelle, Bruce. Off-course no politician would admit to such a lowly station as working in Government. endobj The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Required fields are marked *. You know what they want? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, Use the actual ChatGPT bot (not GPT-3 models) for all your conversational needs, Try out the powerful GPT-3 bot (no jailbreaks required for this one), Generate unique and stunning images using our AI art bot, Chat with the BING Chat bot and see what it can come up with (new and improved! (LAUGHS). I always thought it was kind of funny and someone out of character for a POLITICIAN to go out of his way to point out the low level of American intelligence (LAUGHS), when indeed his very job depends upon it. Then read it again. Let's get started! Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. Now, folks, a question for you. George Carlin - National Press Club May 19, 1999. Shut the fuck up! I, on the other handwho did not votewho did not votewho, in fact, did not even leave the house on Election Day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done and have every right to complain as loud as I want about the mess you created that I had nothing to do with. everybody complains about politicians. stream THUS FAR, HE HASN'T RESPONDED. Its hard to say if he was a Republican or a Democrat, however, as he refused to vote, considering it pointless because voting, as he said, is the illusion of choice.[4]. Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features. They don't pass through a membrane from "another reality". Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Retweets do count. Yeah, right. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . I'M SERVING THE NATION. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. 0000053233 00000 n Londons Heathrow Airport, November 7, 2018. First of all, its meaningless. 124 Copy quote. They're a digital petting zoo. Schedule . Another favorite distortion is Public Service. Cause Americans have a lot of trouble dealing with reality. They OWN YOU. Its almost a poetic rap. 183 21 Well, we know what they want. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fucking years ago. This is the kind of shit youd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. You, and I, are not in the big club. As I say, they're my work, they're my play, they're my passion. I show how there is no direct way to escape politicizing . It's like a bunch of robots pretending to be human. So, next time you're scrolling through your feeds, ask yourself: 'Is this really connecting me with people, or is it just making me more disconnected and isolated?' Subreddit to discuss about ChatGPT. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Well, if you ask me, it's more like the land of the self-obsessed and the home of the vain. endobj Let's all tell each other what we're doing every minute of the day. You enjoy yourselves. Thats what the owners count on. They want your retirement money. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. Im sure as soon as the election is over your country will improve immediately. Vodafone Ad. Speakola is a labour of love and Id be very grateful if you would share, tweet or like it. 185 0 obj 193 0 obj And they're all looking for that instant gratification of likes and followers, like it's some kind of digital high-five. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, actor, author, and social critic. Regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians of all time, he was dubbed "the dean of counterculture comedians". Watch on George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE them', National Press Club - 1999 Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers. Keep 'Em Separated: Remembering George Carlin : NPR Do you? They are us', Address to Parliament following Christchurch massacre - 2019, Dolores Ibrruri: "No Pasarn!, They shall not pass! That's the problem." "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." " Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ." "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." (LAUGHS). Oh boy. <>/Metadata 181 0 R/Outlines 136 0 R/Pages 174 0 R/StructTreeRoot 145 0 R/Type/Catalog/ViewerPreferences<>>> Well where do people think these politicians come from? Nobody seems to care! As for me, Ill be home on that day, doing essentially the same thing as you, the only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im going to have a little something to show for it folks. I do not own this video. I mean, have you ever looked at people's Facebook or Instagram profiles? And don't get me started on the selfies. endobj It's like we're all living in a never-ending episode of MTV Cribs. Incidentally, another way of expressing this sentiment is to say we're sending our young men and women to places the average American can't find on the map. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. So my advice is this: put down your phone, go outside, and actually live your life. A friend is someone you can count on. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. George Carlin: In football, the object is for the quarterback, otherwise known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by . He pretty much smashed the nail squarely on the head. Personally, I think we still need to hoist our fannies perpendicular and hike ourselves to the ballet box for all elections. So, the next time you're walking around looking at your phone, tweeting and Instagramming and Facebooking, just remember this: you're not living in the real world, you're living in the digital world. 0000015335 00000 n Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me. But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. Maher was raised a Catholic (but has a Jewish mother). [wptabtitle]Friends[/wptabtitle][wptabcontent][twitter-feed username=shoq mode=search id=323794037750513667][/wptabcontent] We invite you and ask you to help us update this wiki by editing it. George Carlin - National Press Club [complete] - YouTube I have my ideas. Theyre not interested in that. On Election Day, I stay home. <>stream George Carlin on the American Dream (with transcript) Pfft! Everybody says they suck. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shitty jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now theyre coming for your Social Security money. Their own habitat. Tired of that shit. I mean, why do we need to see some idiot eating Tide pods or jumping off a roof into a pool? Maybe you'll find some of the features useful , Ignore this comment if your post doesn't have a prompt. (LAUGHS) And we know this must be true because the next thing we hear from him is: POLITICIAN:I JUST WANNA PUT THIS THING BEHIND ME AND GET ON WITH MY LIFE. And there you have it, a transcript of George Carlin's take on social media. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control people's language with strict codes and rigid rules. George Carlin Politicians - YouTube I on the other hand, who did not vote, WHO DID NOT VOTE. They made questioners out of us and they really didnt have any answers. It's just a curated version of ourselves that we want to present to the world. Comedian George Carlin addressed members and guests of the National Press Club in Washington, DC. I think I have done that bit', BAFTA acceptance, Leading Actress - 2019, Axel Scheffler: 'The book wasn't called 'No Room on the Broom! They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. And don't even get me started on Twitter. 'Oh, I'm so exhausted from traveling all over Europe for the third time this year. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. You know what they want? [187 0 R 188 0 R 189 0 R 190 0 R 191 0 R 192 0 R 193 0 R] The career of comedian George Carlin (1937-2008) spanned five decades, with his first appearance on "The Tonight Show" being in 1962.He was an outspoken, acerbic social critic, and what came out of his mouthcould be shocking or even sometimes vulgar, but often his railings against injustice or stupidity or corruption shone a light on some dark areas as he said things that others would or . I dont vote. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech. However, he calls himself an apatheist (meaning that he's an atheist who doesn't care about the topic). Maybe something else sucks around here. See they don't DECIDE; they DETERMINE. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. CNN.com - Transcripts According to Carlin, religion is one of humanitys greatest swindles and created nothing but lies, conflict, and suffering. While breaking down these claims on political correctness, Carlin implements his own set of values. POLITICIAN:I ADVISED HIM THAT I HAD MADE A JUDGMENT. Clearly he's preparing us for something (LAUGHS). 0000082419 00000 n So I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way: on election-day, I-STAY-HOME. A clean place to live. He often commented on contemporary political issues in the United States and satirized the excesses of American culture. 0000001412 00000 n e d u / e t d)/Rect[230.8867 233.3227 416.9463 245.0414]/StructParent 4/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Updated on May 30, 2018. When they're in trouble, their explanations usually begin simply with words like MISS-COMMUNICATION; QUESTION:WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG, SENATOR?POLITICIAN:WELL, IT WAS A MISS-COMMUNICATION. You voted them in. You have OWNERS! They come from American parents, and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities. Every time. His final HBO special, It's Bad for Ya, was filmed less than four months before his death. Funny, Humor, Beer. Carlin took a liberal stance on most things, but generally found politics and politicians corrupt and ridiculous. "No child left behind. This shit they shuffle around every four years? The Religion and Political Views of George Carlin - Hollowverse He missed this one. So, I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way. For added emotional impact sons and daughters can always be substituted for men and women and so I think we can sum this up. George Carlin. [5] And another one: If you can afford a donation, it will help Speakola survive and prosper. Well, not overnight, you cant see the sun at night. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All photographs on this website (unless otherwise indicated) were created by and are the property of Daniel R. Joder and may not be used for any purpose without permission. xWnF}WDh%&^6F%&T{84e[A0@-3wUr-*l:, XF{HT+T0?LL q8"y1yY0LV"vQ|8:GwPBr,&]Qt7oz5n 0000003516 00000 n Quote by George Carlin: "Forget the politicians. The politicians are Hi speech lovers,With costs of hosting website and podcast, this labour of love has become a difficult financial proposition in recent times. Garbage out. Difference. WHEN THE HEARINGS HAVE CONCLUDED, I WILL MAKE A JUDGMENT OR I MIGHT MAKE AN ASSESSMENT. Theyll get it. We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. CHALLENGES! Theres a reason for this, theres a reason education SUCKS, and its the same reason it will never, ever, EVER be fixed. <> The planet is fine. People post pictures of themselves and their lives, trying to create a narrative that they're happy, successful, and popular. So self-important. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shitty jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now theyre coming for your Social Security money. Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. George Carlin speech at the National Press Club (May 13, 1999) "George Carlin delivered a humorous speech in which he ma Show more Show more George Carlin on Being Arrested for. Very relevant for these times of high public paranoia about Global Warming! He was known for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and taboo subjects. That's a big activity here in Washington! I'VE FAITH IN THE AMERICAN JUDICIAL SYSTEM. endobj This wiki was last updated on 11 Apr 2012 by: Today we're opening contributions to all readers. But marital fidelity is a good idea, so I suggest we keep the idea and call this commandment "Thou shalt not be unfaithful." The shit they shuffle around every four years doesnt mean a fuckin thing. You crowned us', by Toni Morrison - 1988, for Michael Gordon: '13 days ago my Dads big, beautiful, generous heart suddenly stopped beating', by Scott and Sarah Gordon - 2018, Tara Westover: 'Your avatar isn't real, it isn't terribly far from a lie', The Un-Instagrammable Self, Northeastern University - 2019, Tim Minchin: 'Being an artist requires massive reserves of self-belief', WAAPA - 2019, Atul Gawande: 'Curiosity and What Equality Really Means', UCLA Medical School - 2018, Abby Wambach: 'We are the wolves', Barnard College - 2018, Eric Idle: 'America is 300 million people all walking in the same direction, singing 'I Did It My Way'', Whitman College - 2013, Shirley Chisholm: ;America has gone to sleep', Greenfield High School - 1983, Joe Marler: 'Get back on the horse', Harlequins v Bath pre game interview - 2019, Ray Lewis : 'The greatest pain of my life is the reason I'm standing here today', 52 Cards -, Mel Jones: 'If she was Bradman on the field, she was definitely Keith Miller off the field', Betty Wilson's induction into Australian Cricket Hall of Fame - 2017, Jeff Thomson: 'Its all those people that help you as kids', Hall of Fame - 2016, Dan Angelucci: 'The Best (Best Man) Speech of all time', for Don and Katherine - 2019, Hallerman Sisters: 'Oh sister now we have to let you gooooo!'