100 Best Nerdy Pick Up Lines | Reader's Digest Mr. Wormwood. Don't put honey on your brother. Do you think I altered my intended elevation? Bruce Bogtrotter: And another door closes. You are going to march in there and give them a piece of your mind. I still don't see how you glued your hat on, Harry. Her mind is incredible. MR WORMWOOD I think you'll want your trousers loose. Amanda Thripp: Just because you find that life's not fair, it This boy's got no fingie. Isn't there some more? And . MISS HONEY steps away from MATILDA as MISS TRUNCHBULL enters by the blackboard. [as Harry switches on Matilda's lamp] MISS HONEYbeckons MATILDA to the back of the class. I think they just fit. Oil of Violets hair tonic. They are good runners, sir. Yes. [throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown] A purple spotlight starts to make its way from Bruce across the classroom. It gives me a warm glow in my lower intestine. He's a small, ratty man, with luscious black hair. ], CHILDREN Trunchbull: DOCTOR They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the . RUDOLPHO starts dancing with and carrying around MISS HONEY, which he continues to do throughout the song. MR WORMWOOD Patience, my love. [to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers] The other dancers and judges exit, leaving MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in a dramatic position. You liked my cake, didn't you, Bruce? This one was mine. MRS WORMWOOD walks back behind the curtain. The ESCAPOLOGIST starts to walk in from the back of the stage. "Come with me, and I'll show you why it's called the Shrieking Shack.". <> . Please, stand, and do as much as you can. . MR WORMWOOD kicks her out of the way, talking on the telephone. and . Miss Honey: Between you and it, You might as well be saying you think that it's okay, If,1,null Matilda Pick Up Lines. Harry Wormwood: Matilda: FBI Agent Bob: Harry Wormwood: Now sit up and look at the TV. Jun 15, 2018 - Explore Kristin Wichman's board "Matilda quotes" on Pinterest. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. . I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. MISS TRUNCHBULL sniffs and licks the air. Matilda centers on Matilda, a young genius with telekinesis powers. MISS TRUNCHBULL PERSPERATION! MISS TRUNCHBULL He'd call me bumblebee. Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! Look what you've done, you stupid woman. Mine are driving me crazy. What on earth did you do that for? See you tomorrow! . Standing up for the little spit-ball, are you? . Behind MR WORMWOOD and MATILDA, the scene changes from a living room to MATILDA's bedroom. MRS WORMWOOD Michael chokes the carrot]. Narrator: Stuff it in. Not even when the hammer left my hands "Escapologist", he says! "tomato"? [after listing prices of cars bought and sold]. A member of the mafia! I have all these extra. Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten. It was like the entire world went silent for that He's eaten it all. [snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover]. This child is a girl. And that's not right! Five times two is ten. Matilda: CHILDREN Look, is this gonna take much longer, doctor? Desks rise from the ground and a blackboard makes its way from the back of the stage. 9. I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. It's the female minor. <>>> Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, [They start chattering. Mr. Wormwood: Agatha Trunchbull: Maybe. This miracle . What was my profit for the day? Qui mon fella Italiano. Every new life Ah-ah-aah-ah. We never thought it was possible, Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. Jenny: MATILDA Just get on your feet, Jenny. Finally, he grabs an individual page in glee. Girl, you've gotta learn to stand up and stick out from the SHUT UP AND LEAVE US ALONE! You have to stay inside the circle . You slithered like a serpent into the school kitchen and ate MY PERSONAL SNACK! CHILDREN and look at reading. | MRS WORMWOOD brushes past MATILDA with a sound of utter disgust. Two times . BIG KID [BEN] To survive this mess by Being a prince or a princess. MISS HONEY Are you looking for a good amount of pickup lines. As I started my spin, did I look at the view? 330+ Best Pickup Lines Funny, Cheesy, Cute & Bad - iAMHJA Million $ Sticky Host: Yes, sir. Now, do any of you know any of your two times tables? I . "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. 80+ Extremely Hot & Sexy Pick Up Lines To Use On Guys & Girls 2023 What poem would that be? Her mind is incredible. What're they going to do, repossess the kid? Yes, Miss Trunchbull! That is the biggest hug in the world. My skin looks just revolting in this foul, fluorescent light. What's wrong with the telly? MRS PHELPS exits as a siren wails and the scene changes to Crunchem Hall Academy. Is the first word . Knock on the door, Jenny. . Matilda, that . What? These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone." Roald Dahl, Matilda tags: books , literature , reading , words 190 R-Rated Dirty Pick Up Lines | Thought Catalog Thirteen times two is twenty-six. BIG KID [RYAN] FBI Agent Bob: The initial impression you make is memorable, so make it count. WOMAN: That's right, honey. It seems that there are millions of these "one in a millions" these days. MISS TRUNCHBULL grabs AMANDA by the pigtails and swings her around and around. 2. . MISS HONEY laughs and exits down the stairs at the front of the stage. The scene freezes again for BRUCE to talk. Four times two is eight. Jenny : Quite the contrary. Agatha Trunchbull: More than one. You're the only daughter I ever had, Matilda. Agatha Trunchbull: Now: Matilda Pick Up Lines - jouou.rocks Over a drink. You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you? MATILDA [Daintily, straightening her collar, MISS TRUNCHBULL exits off the front of the stage.]. . [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] "A contract was signed to perform this feat, and perform this feat you shall! Oh, it will only take a moment. And you know where you'll end up? His do-dah. A child. The CHILDREN reach out from behind the gate as the BIG KIDS carry them away. MISS TRUNCHBULL takes BRUCE by the wrist and leads him off the front of the stage. He stands up on a block. AAAHH! MR WORMWOOD . Mrs. Wormwood: Trunchbull: BIG KID [BEN] . Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Matilda, you promised you wouldn't go back into that house. You'd better hide! If you don't, I will get you. He loves having me around. You gotta be loud! According to a constitutional law book that I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could lose your job or even go to federal prison. Jenny: DOCTOR Just knock on the door. No one's gonna love you if you don't know the rumba. BRUCE four hundred and eighty-seven. Flipping, filthy, nasty, stupid Russians! They say she's lined it with nails, and spikes, and bits of broken glass. MRS PHELPS 100 Funny Pick Up Lines - These are guaranteed to make her laugh! Hey, dip face. Crowd! MISS TRUNCHBULL If you want to throw the hammer for your country. MAN: I think he blinked. She's probably having a meeting or something and won't want to be interrupted. MISS TRUNCHBULL For those idiots out there who don't know how to play, here's how it goes. Come along, Bogtrotter. Harry Wormwood: If you sit around and let them get on top, you MISS TRUNCHBULL turns off the screens with a remote and wheels around, holding a magnifying glass. I'll have her for that. Zinnia Wormwood: Mrs. Wormwood: . Calculate this! | . All grown-ups get scared, just like children. Her mind? [cutting off Harry's hat with scissors] You When lights come up again, AMANDA is gone. Matilda: Claiming that they know stuff we don't know. 3. Why would she want some snotty, disobedient kid? And, while you're at it, why don't you stick your stupid book to your stupid head? I don't know if my nerves will make it until tomorrow. What? I have my ion you. She stands paralyzed in fear. And for the good of those - PUTRESCENT LITTLE CHILDREN! I love my school it isn't fair! But learning a language is over the top . Now, get off to bed, you little bookworm. Try to be funny, or clever, or both! Give my little bumblebee her house and her money. Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Quite the contrary. They were left out there for the whole world to see because you weren't here to take 'em in! [after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers] Good morning, children! Angrily, MISS TRUNCHBULL looks from NIGEL to MATILDA and back. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS take off their blazers and throw them on top of him. But unleSs you want to suffer, listen up (Starts to go, but really this time) I'm going to put the newt in Trunchbull's jug! You MRS PHELPS I don't know. [Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it]. And yet, every single life, They sits and unpack their bags. Who the hell do they think they are? The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. You haven't got time for "but". Watch Roald Dahl's Matilda The Musical | Netflix Official Site Ow! Matilda: Zinnia Wormwood: CHILDREN and COUPLES arrange themselves behind it. Yes! There's not a lot of difference in size. No way! Mr Wormwood! You can be all cynical, Harry Wormwood: Dr. Seuss Pick Up Lines. 1 0 obj Wait, Dad, you're going too fast. Who is this, babe? And people would come from miles around: kings! Lovekins, where's my breakfast? [turns to Michael] I have a nice house, a wonderful husband and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. You and your father think you can make a fool out of me! But here it is, coming true: 100 Best Pickup Lines for Girls That Actually Work - Medium MR WORMWOOD I'm not hinting, but if you did happen to have a story you wanted . I don't know. . And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all. Look at him go! Smells chocolatey, eh? Hey, sleep with me.I am not scary.I'm really rich.I'm Drew Carey. She went on olden-day sailing ships with Joseph Conrad. As long as you dont know it with the volume up. MISS HONEY Pathetic, little me. Dec 15, 2021 - Explore Matilda A.skott's board "pickup lines" on Pinterest. 2. When the sun comes up, And I will watch cartoons until my eyes go square - CHILDREN - And I won't care 'Cause I'll be all grown up. They're individual! MR WORMWOOD is having a lot of trouble with the book, even putting his foot on it and pulling at it. I can see we're not going to agree, are we? MRS WORMWOOD I'm sure you'd , MR WORMWOOD google_color_url="320000"; Merriam-Webster defines a "pick-up line" as "a prepared remark used by a person to start a conversation with a stranger they are interested in having a romantic relationship with". Every day starts with the tick of a clock. But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly. That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a . Wormwood! so our main focus is on cute pickup lines, funny pick up lines, cheesy pick up lines, corny pickup lines, clever pickup lines, bad pick up lines, worst pick up lines, sweet pickup lines, and this list is . [She takes MATILDA by the wrist and leads her to ERIC's desk.] Hup, two, four, free. Agatha Trunchbull: [strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward] so I pick it up and - No! I sold it for $999. MISS TRUNCHBULL With your stupid books and your stupid reading. She laughs. See more ideas about matilda quotes, matilda, quotes. . Quite the contrary. It was the biggest burp I had ever done. MISS HONEY You should be embarrassed. I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. See more ideas about pick up lines funny, pick up lines cheesy, pick up lines. Well, you got a light. AMANDA 101 Best Pick Up Lines: Cheesy, Funny, Cute - Parade: Entertainment What did you think? I'd love to read to you some time. You've never set foot in a library. Upon the blackboard is written the alphabet. Smile for mummy, smile for mother. FBI Agent Bob: Did we sell some cars today, honeydew? Restores my faith in human kind. Michael: Matilda: With an owchie . MISS TRUNCHBULL What is this trash you're reading? The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN take up various positions around the stage and audience, pointing in every which way. Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. This child doesn't have a "thingie" . BIG KIDS Instead he said, "When a person is bad", and thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. BIG KID [TAMIKA] Quite a long way, I think. [to Nigel] When did this happen? Harry Wormwood: Bruce! Yes. MATILDA Just go up and introduce yourself. . MISS TRUNCHBULL grimaces as the purple spotlight leaves her. He's fantastic! Matilda Character Analysis | LitCharts And what sort of teacher would I be The biggest burp I had ever heard about! . Your mommy is a TWIT! | Share this Matilda : I love it here! He'll probably think he's in bed when he wakes up. They embrace and exit out the back of the stage. MATILDA said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. ACT 1. Anyone with a good sense of humor will appreciate them. Because basically a sentence is just a big bunch of words. . Matilda Wormwood! Ten! She stops in triumph. Now get out. | A little less flat, a lot more heel. I can't abandon my children. Could I speak to you for a moment, please? My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. [She shoves ERIC out of his seat so MATILDA can stand on his desk.]. Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. The school bell rings and all the children march out. Bruce! The most precious gift the natural world can bestow upon us has been handed to you. Matilda Wormwood: I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. If you want to throw the hammer for your country, Others take a less emotional approach. Narrator: Amanda Thripp: Oh, that's where it's at! MATILDA MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO Any children who object will go straight into the Chokey together! Miss Honey: DOCTOR MATILDA Agatha Trunchbull: [noticing her books] . MATILDA What've you done with his fingie? I can pretend I'm an . Stop me when this becomes true, but once upon a time, you and I went on a date. Dance competition's over. Someone poured a whole can of syrup onto Trunchbull's chair. They say it's a cupboard in her office that she throws children into. AAAAAHHHHH! Their sadness overwhelmed them, and drew them into ever more dangerous feats, as their work became the only place they could escape the inescapable tragedy of their lives! DOCTOR [Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair]. It's not a cheap set, it's a stolen set! She then steps forward and hugs MISS HONEY tightly. I think you've got something in your eye. You? Is like the TARDIS: My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children at all. Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book. ], MISS HONEY Once in our Cube of Cash, any money that sticks to your gooey body, you get to take home! . Agatha Trunchbull: There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as . Stories. Now EAT IT! Stop being pathetic, Jenny. I'm sorry, doctor. Eventually, they quieten down, but LAVENDER continues to jump up in down next to MATILDA, who is reading. Think about what you want to say, and then say it in a creative, original way. My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm. [hands Michael the cookies] . Now, that is how you do it! You gotta be loud! And if it's not right, One hundred and fifty-five brand new luxury cars, sir. Above average is average. MRS PHELPS And . Zinnia Wormwood: Of course you didn't do it, you little twit. See how they shine? AMANDA and ERIC No one like a smart-mouthed girl like me. Don't waste this. Sing, Jenny! MRS WORMWOOD has her leg raised up and RUDOLPHO is holding it against his back. When I grow up, (When I grow up, when I grow up) I will be strong enough to carry all The heavy things you have to haul Around with you When you're a grown up And when I grow up, [She gets on all fours as RUDOLPHO rides her like a horse.] We're told we have to do what we're told, but surely, To the rules. [He dances backwards and MRS WORMWOOD follows along.]. Before my happy days were over, Who do you think I am, Miss Honey? You don't need happiness or self-esteem. But not just to see their skill, but also to see their love for each other, which was so deep that it was said that cats would purr as they passed them, and dogs would weep with joy. Now, look at you, and look at me. MRS WORMWOOD and MICHAEL down sit in armchairs. MATILDA What about the Russians? There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle I'm competing in the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships in Paris. RUDOLPHO Matilda, 4 Years: And the 4th cost $1,100. Go fig-ueur! You have to stay inside the circle all the time. MISS HONEY Jenny: . What do I have to do to gain respect around here? PARTY ENTERTAINER Mrs. F-F-I. Amanda Thripp: MR WORMWOOD The time has come to put that tumbly-tum to use. (Bruce!) Harry Wormwood: With her, it's all "books" and "stories". Pp6Q &_!Ekp?$w_AG[nU6v^^Wo:9o>:. MISS HONEY What am doing here? And . Ha, ha, ha, ha Harry Wormwood: No! She taught us with a poem. [speaking to Matilda about her and her father] It was the worst of times. Like hell! I'm telling you, I didn't do it! Past Alice. [to MISS HONEY] You don't! Ciao, Rudolpho. The CHILDREN thrash in their seats. MISS TRUNCHBULL Roald Dahl's Matilda The Musical. No, it's a library book! Look at this. 28 of the best book quotes from Matilda. Great, big, question-asking . Chew your food; you're an animal! How do you do this? . And this gown is nothing like the semi-formal, He bites the cap, screaming through his teeth. . Sing, children. Oh my. She found a small cottage. When I'm finished with you, you're gonna look like roadkill! This calls for a proper smoke. To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. Might as well be saying you think that it's okay, You know what interruptions do to my energy flow. One of the novel's antagonists, Mr. Wormwood is Matilda and Michael 's father, and Mrs. Wormwood 's husband. Whee! I love it here! MISS HONEY is left in a pile stage right. MATILDA Standing outside the principal's office like a little girl. What do you want a book for? With powers, the carrot flies into his mouth. I'll be watching you, each and every one. and astronauts! It occurred to her that such talking dragons and princesses with hair long enough to climb such people might *only* exist in story books. Erm, well, as you know, Matilda is in the bottom class. And so, the great day arrived! She exits, not before scratching her behind and wiping her nose. MRS WORMWOOD Bruce Bogtrotter: Miss Honey: I can't find his frank 'n' beans! "Time is on our side. The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN scurry away. [He does a split in front of MISS HONEY. The scene unfreezes. School? endobj MATILDA THE MUSICAL. MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST Dosvedoo-dah. Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! MISS HONEY enters and erases the board. Yes, wonderful. [walking out of the room excitedly] MISS HONEY enters and knocks. One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse. Just knock on the door . I've had them since I was big enough to Xerox. 105 Cute Pick-Up Lines That'll Make Them Smile And Text You Back Yes, Miss Trunchbull. Use the rod, beat the child, that's my motto. Funny Pickup Lines Woman's Day Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? DOCTOR I did not! But Harry's ranting and raving gave Matilda the key to her power. That's the main thing. It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. 2 0 obj MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN Are you going to tell me a story or not? Matilda, you promised me you wouldn't go back in that house again. Marvellous. Platinum blonde hair dye. [everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in]. I mean, my mum wanted me to stay at home with her. Brand new stock, sir! Of course I am. Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. Loud, loud, loud, loud! You've seen one before. . In . This is the cottage from your story. MR WORMWOOD . Two, three, four. The kind with food and teeny-weeny cockroaches. See! Or just a coincidence? Ahh! Now go watch TV like a good kid. The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college, too. . . Some will grow to be butchers, or bakers, or candlestick makers. MAN: Have you seen his school report? Dip face! COUPLES [COUPLES Aaaargh! The subsequent fall was inevitable. have you read a whole book? MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] Dad said I'd learn the alphabet! I'm not in favor of girls getting all clever-pants, Miss Hussy. What do you think it took to become English Hammer Throwing Champion 1969? Listen, you little wiseacre: I'm smart, you're dumb; I'm big, you're little; I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it. ". There's, erm . The end is happier. Everything was arranged by [She pulls her coat over her head to simulate a hunchback, and grabs a large book.] A life. . it isn't fair! TOMMY Starring: Alisha Weir, Emma Thompson, Lashana Lynch. Yes, Miss Trunchbull, please, you can! One look at my face and it's plain to see. MISS HONEY Is it some modern miracle of calculus You missed it. MATILDA Nonsense. And if you want to teach success, Green hair? MATILDA Matilda: The teacher's clearly falling short. Of course they didn't believe me: I've got green hair! MRS WORMWOOD exits. DOCTOR I'm the best! BRUCE . One look at my face and it's plain to see. BIG KIDS Opening lines from children's books to capture new readers, to inspire writers, to reminisce with old favourites. 3. You have brats yourself? What can I do? 2. What? Six times two is twelve. Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mis-*take*, Matilda. And I will Teach you a thing or two. Well, Matilda Wormwood. No one's gonna tell you when to wiggle your bumba. Harry Wormwood: Hmm. What is it? Hide me! Bambinatum! Oh, you stupid man. Oh, no, you are not "full". How could she possibly have done it when she was sitting way over here? ;)Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to our. You see, the Trunchbull's cake was so good that I'd scoffed it down too quick, and now it was beginning to fight back. I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom! LAVENDER It was the biggest burp I had ever heard, the biggest burp I had ever heard about. And instead of a musical fanfare, there was silence, as he solemnly strode into the room. MISS TRUNCHBULL finishes writing the word "GUILTY" on the board. Chocolate cake. But I . 100 Best Tinder Pickup Lines for All Your 2023 Matches - Reader's Digest Oh, of course. I will not say anymore! You will be put away in a place where not even the crows can land their droppings on you! . 75 Best Smooth Pick Up Lines - Use these to make her smile. - Mantelligence MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN My daddy says I would be the teacher's pet! . a contract. 19. She has never seen a! [tosses the cereal in the air] Before I first heard the Pealing of the bell. So go and put some highlights in your hair. Glad I never was one. . NIGEL, TOMMY MR WORMWOOD Is there still time for the Bi-Annual Inter-Championship Amateur Sausage . Look! Jenny : Not as brave as you. Yes! Aren't you supposed to be in school, young lady? [His stomach growls.] A curtain is wheeled in with the words "5 YEARS AGO" painted on it. Yes! A boy with no fingie? 'Cause your life as you know it is ancient history. Matilda: Please! LAVENDER puts the wooden spoon back in his hand. It's true he indulges my tendency to bulge. ALL COUPLES: What? Was it magic? MATILDA But if I try I can remember, Even time loves us.". He screams and turns around, hitting ERIC's cap against ERIC's desk. Apply just one simple rule Here we are, my heartstrings! Am I . But wrong. The distance the shotput goes, depends upon the effort that you PUT INTO IT. The secret to my success is this. MATILDA I? You'll be surprised at how well it works. MR WORMWOOD Trunchbull: A party entertainer enters with balloons. MISS TRUNCHBULL I'm fed up with all this reading! Maryn Liles Feb 17, 2023 It's no lie that online dating. MAN: So hilarious. Are they good runners? See who wins. They're like insects: they should be got rid of as early as possible. BIG KIDS MATILDA Why don't you run away? [turns and sees Harry's hair] He dances with the hospital bed that MRS WORMWOOD is lying on.